The Focus Muscle

Have you ever been in the middle of doing something and out of nowhere the phone rings or you hear "mom" in the distance?  When that happens to me I loose my focus and whatever I was doing suddenly becomes in danger of not being successful.

Having a clear focus and being 100% intentional in doing something almost always guarantees success.  When I am busy multi-tasking and trying to cover "all my bases" that is when things fall apart and nothing is really accomplished as well as it could be. I need to teach myself to put one goal, one project, one opportunity in place and experience the creative and productive effectiveness that comes from doing one thing at a time.

What is a project or goal that needs your focus and attention?  Can you schedule that into next week, working on that alone before moving on to something else?  A key thought to remember is that when you put your energy out in several directions, you weaken the power you would have behind just one direction.

Try this week to flex your "focus muscle" and stay with one goal, one project, or one opportunity.  If you feel like moving away from your focus, tell yourself "I do complete work."


This week I will focus my attention on: ______________________.  Good luck with filling in your blank and taking focus this week!

When you stay focused and keep a commitment you create momentum, and momentum creates momentum.   Rich Fettke

Where Are You On Your "To-Do" List?

One question I asked as a life coach was, "Where are you on your to-do list?"  The overwhelming answer was usually, "I'm not on the list."  What?

We live in a culture that is work centered, and either we have lost touch with ourselves or feel it is selfish to put ourselves on our list.  We are always running around driving here and there, eating on the run, conducting business in the car....there is no time left it seems for ourselves.

"Couples spend an average of 12 minutes a day talking to each other " and "40 minutes per week playing with children."    Cecile Andrews, The Circle of Simplicity

I always gave clients permission to put themselves on their list.  When you want to make changes for a better life you have to start with a better you.  It might go against everything you have been taught about not being selfish and putting others first, but you have to do it.  When you start taking care of yourself you will notice you are more available to others.  You notice that when you say "Yes" to something you won't regret or resent it later.  You will find that putting yourself on your "to-do" list is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and all those around you. 

Think about what you could do to take good care of yourself.  What are a couple things that you could do  this week?  Go ahead and do one for yourself.  Remember you deserve to take care of yourself.

$@#%%!* Passwords

If I am required to remember one more password for something I think I will loose my mind!  I understand the reasoning to keep our data safe, but come on give me a break in picking the password.  They all want something different; uppercase and lowercase, special characters, no special characters, numbers, no numbers, length has to be so long....what in the world!

I like to think of myself as a pretty sharp cookie, but when trying to log-on to my car insurance website I used up my three attempts and was blocked from the system and needed to call the next day...what a pain.  I had the right password, just forgot to make one letter a capital.  ARGH......

I told my husband somebody needs to make a book espically for all your website passwords and log-in names so you can keep track of all of them and not have to remember all the little differences and get locked out of your accounts.  Ok, so maybe this is not really a good idea to have this information around for anyone to have access to, but there has to be something to keep this info sorted out in.

Maybe it's just me, but if anybody else has issues with remembering passwords and has come up with a solution please let me know.

Biting The Hand That Feeds

This cute little guy is about nine weeks old and fits in the palm of my hand. He is one of nineteen cats residing at the San Diego Animal Rescue cattery. Each week I volunteer at the cattery and each week there are new faces to meet. I learned a lesson this week and want to share it with you.

Being a kitten this guy has loads of energy.  If you have ever watched a kitten jump and play you know how hysterical they are to watch. There was jumping, climbing, and bouncing off every wall and cage in the cattery.  Somehow during this acrobatic routine one small hind paw became caught between two cross sections of a wire cage. Hearing a shrill scream come from the caught kitten I immediately ran over to loosen his paw.

I picked up his body in my right hand as my left hand worked to undo the paw. Poor thing was so scared, hurt, and anxious that he didn't realize I was there to help him. His flight or fight instincts took over; he couldn't get away so he fought. This means he bit me. Not once, not twice, but three times. The whole event took less than ten seconds to transpire, but when it was over the kitten was loose and I owned three sets of puncture marks on my right hand. Don't let anybody tell you that kittens don't have sharp little teeth....they do! The kitten was fine and bounded away unfazed by the episode.

After taking care of my hand I sat with the kitten on my lap purring. I thought about what happened and realize I often do the same thing. How often in a situation where I am anxious, scared, or hurting do I push away those who want to help me because I can't see past the situation? The standard answers of "everything is fine" or "no, I don't need any help" come to mind. Why do I snap and "bite" at those family and friends who want to help me? My flight or fight instinct take over just like the kittens. I react before I take a deep breath and process the situation.

I learned a good lesson this week. The next time I find myself in a flight or fight situation I am going to try and not bite the hands that want to help me. On an end note the kitten has a new home and my hand is fine.

Sleep...What is the Magic Number?

Sleep.  My current self-help read tells me I need seven hours each night.  My body each morning tells me something different as I reach for my coffee cup.  How much sleep do we really need?  Is there a magic number that will have me springing from my bed? 

There is no "magic number" for individual sleep, but the general "rule-of-thumb" needs are courtesy of the Sleep Foundation:  Have a question about sleep?  Check out The Sleep Foundation for lots of great information.

I love to sleep in and play catch up on with my sleep, but it seems that might not be such a good idea anymore.  So having too much sleep can be a bad thing too. Who knew?

"... A key question is how much is too much or too little. Researchers Shawn Youngstedt and Daniel Kripke reviewed two surveys of more than 1 million adults conducted by the American Cancer Society and found that the group of people who slept seven hours had less mortality after six years than those sleeping both more and less. The group of people who slept shorter amounts and those who slept longer than eight hours had an average mortality risk that was greater, but the risk was higher for longer sleepers. Youngstedt and Kripke argue that for those who would normally sleep longer than eight hours, restricting their sleep may actually be healthier for them, just as eating less than one’s appetite may be healthier in a more sedentary society."

I am aiming for seven to nine hours of sleep each night.  I will keep track and find my own "magic number" that gives me the best health and mood.  Once that number is found the secret is to schedule sleep and make it a priority.  Sleep is one of those activities I tend to cut when there is a time crunch.  Not getting enough sleep leads to all sorts of issues.  Adding sleep to my "to-do" list is a positive step for 2010.

Sunglasses To Buy or Not To Buy....That Is The Question.

Does purchasing a new pair of sunglasses cause you to break out in a sweat like it does me?  I've come to the conclusion that finding the perfect pair of sunglasses is alot like finding that perfect bra.  Once you find it you better buy more than one because you will never find them again.

My sunglasses are a pair that was left at work in the lost and found box for over a year. I decided to give them a new home and that was four years ago. They have served their purpose and with their bent frame, completely scratched left lens, they need retiring. I love my glasses. They fit perfect, look great, and hey they didn't cost me a thing.

While looking through the five carousels of sunglasses at Target this afternoon another woman pulled her cart up beside mine and started her quest to find the perfect pair. She stated, "Don't you just hate looking for new sunglasses?" I was not alone; somebody else hated searching for the perfect pair as much as I did! I asked what lead to her search and found that her 2-year old tried to see if sunglasses could fly by tossing them out the car window..while she was driving. A moment of silence was observed for the brave sunglasses and then our quest continued. I can't tell you how many sizes, shapes, and colors we both tried on...but in the end we both shrugged our shoulders and went our separate ways, sunglasses less.

The quest continues for a new pair of sunglasses.  I found a great article on what to look for in purchasing sunglasses.  You can find great information in this article How To Buy Sunglasses.  All the best on your quest may you find the perfect pair.

Tax Time

Today I decided to get the paperwork in order to think about preparing our taxes. I usually do the taxes the first time on Turbo Tax and then hand them over to my husband to re-exam and edit before he submits them. We tried doing the tax thing together and I swore I would never do it again. Doing taxes with your spouse is as bad as trying to wall paper with them, you don't do it.

This year the taxes are mind boggling. In 2009 I ran my own business. You will read more about my business adventures later, but for now know that looking at all those bottom line numbers is like reading an obituary. It is long, sad, and there is nothing you can really do about it.

At least as I type my excel spreadsheet I have the undying support of my Siamese cat who is lying on my desk. I think he senses my disillusionment with small business as I continue to add numbers and columns to the "spent" side he reaches over and puts his paw over my hand. As if to say, "don't worry things can only get better" pat.

I've spent the better part of four hours getting this paperwork in order. I'm at a stopping point. The cat has left, things are organized and it is time to retreat to a glass of wine tonight.

To all of you working on taxes I raise my wine glass.

Don't Ask

Am I the only one who wishes sometimes for a sign that I can wear around my neck that says, "Don't Ask!"? Perhaps you can relate to being bombarded by solicitors in your daily routine.

Monday is typically errand day in our household. This weeks stops were Arco, Navy Federal Credit Union, Wal-Mart, and Von's. Nothing out of the ordinary just the normal stops. First up, Arco. Filling up the Honda doesn't take much time or effort. You can pay right at the pump, wash the windshield and I'm on my way. Not today. Today I was approached by a nice young man offering to show me a great product that would do all kinds of things for my car. He sprayed some on the hood and showed me how clean that spot was now. Great, a clean spot in the middle of my car and the rest is dirty. For only $30 I could have two of these great and fantastic cans of miracle clean....I said thanks but no thanks.

Next stop on the list was Wal-Mart. On my way entering the store I was asked, "are you a registered voter?" and "would you sign our petition to legalize marijuana?" Thanks but no thanks. Thirty minutes later on my way exiting the store I was asked, "are you a registered voter?" and "would you sign our petition to legalize same sex marriage?" Thanks but no thanks.

Third stop on the list was the credit union. This stop didn't have anyone asking anything, but I am going to count the man with his dog at the stoplight asking for donations.

Final stop was grocery shopping at Von's. Taking a cart from the parking lot and heading toward the entrance I was approached by a man in a suit. He was giving away his CD of music would I like one? He was only accepting donations if you felt lead to give. I used my thanks but no thanks excuse again.

I am all for grassroots marketing and making a living, but am I the only one who feels bombarded when I go to purchase things? How many times have you slowed your pace or tried to make sure other people are walking into a store when you do so you won't get "caught" by the solicitors? Come on now and be honest.

This brings me back to my original question. Do you ever wish for a sign to wear around your neck that says, "Don't Ask!"?